well. i just needed somewhere to put this.  i don't know that anyone reads this anymore, and that's okay.

today, i found out i have to go back into a medically induced menopause again.  yes. again.  for the second time.  i've been having a LOT of pain.  so.. looks like at this rate, every 2-3 years i'll get to have another 6-12 months of menopause.  something about that is SO not right. 

i'm just real excited about:
shots every month for the next year.
hotflashes. (in the summer! ugh!!)
moods.
and more.

i just had been hoping that with the surgery and menopause 2 years ago that it would help things for a bit longer.  guess it isn't so.  my doctor is nice though.  so, thats good.

i think i need to like, win the lottery or have my prince charming waltz into my life to offset this news from today.  seriously.  i wouldn't wish multiple menopauses on anyone. ever.

til next time... whenever it may be.

ma-v, while you guys are out and about shopping.. if you happen to run into dishes with this pattern would you please let me know or buy them and i will pay you back?  i can't find any identifying markings on the bottom on mine to tell me who made them or anything.  the same colors and stuff go around the plates and bowls.  they were my grandma wutke's forever.  i only have 1 bowl left.  anyway... i haven't ever seen them anywhere but know you guys go to a lot more places than i do.  thanks. love you!  i can get you more pictures if you want. :)

today was the most emotionally trying day i've had in a long time. the hospital can be hard on the heart, and the soul.

one extreme- a serviceman for our country died... very unexpectedly. it was so moving.. to see 30 of his fellow servicemen in the waiting room, along with his family, which included a very young wife. he was 23. it was sudden and unexpected. one day he's fine, the next day he's gone. i cried. i couldn't help it.
the other extreme- a man purposely OD'd trying to end it all, and was in the same intensive care unit, a room away. angrily, he is going to make it. he is also 23.

i had never really realized how sad the state of our world is in. even safe little springfield.  i see at least 4-5 people in the hospital every week that are admitted for attempting suicide.  i've never prayed as much in my life as i have since starting to work at the hospital.  it breaks my heart, on a daily basis.  i don't know that i'll ever grow used to the trials and turmoils of what life brings, and what you can see in the hospital.  don't get me wrong, it sure isn't all bad!  the good pulls on my heart too.  and its that i know God is working thru me that keeps me going back.  i've never felt like i belonged working somewhere as much as i feel it in that hospital.

i pray your day was good.